i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
