That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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