He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
