Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
