K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
