You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
