i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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