so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
