haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
