boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
