my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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