Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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