woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize