just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize