Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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