I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
