I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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