White coat. Heels.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
