I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize