He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
