I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
