Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Found your dick twin last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
