I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
