Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
