I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
