U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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