White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
