I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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