WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You're like the curious george of whores
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
