You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
