haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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