Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
