She is in my trunk
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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