ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
