just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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