No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
God, I missed his penis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
