got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
