She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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