I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
