when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think I sprained my soul last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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