i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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