you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
