Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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