yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
