My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently you make a good broom.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
