Screwed.edu
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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