OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
