my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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