THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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