need another drink. this is the easiest way
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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