I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
