she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize