my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
