I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
