And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
