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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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