i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
