he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
