I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
