I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
