The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize