# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
